Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why is fitness important?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Pamela Bach’s heartbreaking final message to her daughter revealed three months after her death - Page Six

I have complete contempt for fakery

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

Rocks reveal the turning point when oxygen changed Earth forever - Earth.com

I see through liars

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Dodgers To Designate Chuckie Robinson For Assignment - MLB Trade Rumors

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

‘I Couldn’t Stop Crying’: Swifties React as Taylor Swift Reveals She Finally Owns Her Music - Rolling Stone

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Where's the Civil War everyone on the left said would happen?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why aren't U.S. prisons more like Marine Corps boot camp, were every second of the day there are mandatory activities so that at night everyone is so tired they go to sleep until wakeup at 5:30 am? Would this make prisons safer for all?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Costco's New Food Court Item Has Customers Divided: 'It's Offensive' - Delish

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Playdate’s second season is off to a great (and very weird) start - The Verge

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes